


Haru: When Flowers are Supposed to Bloom

by aixmarie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, Hidden Relationship, I dont know how to tag, Light Angst, M/M, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 09:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18547204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aixmarie/pseuds/aixmarie
Summary: The music industry is unforgiving. Seungcheol and Jeonghan knows that. So the company asks them to keep their relationship discreet for their own good. But what if this will just push them to be distant from each other? How will they overcome it?





	1. Discreet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mycheollie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycheollie/gifts), [aiavena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiavena/gifts).



“It’s a month-long activity. I know this isn’t what you want, but we are just trying to protect you and your careers.”

He swallows a lump in his throat. He expected this. He knew that somehow, at some point, they will have to stop. It’s not just for him but for twelve other people, so he just nods as a response while he feels the hold of the other tighten, their fingers intertwined.

“We tolerate it because it isn’t right for us to interfere. You’re grownups, you know what you’re doing.” the VP folds his hand on top of his desk, signifying the severity of the situation. “This industry is unforgiving. But the public is much worse. I hope both of you understand.”

It was a short discussion, but everything was made loud and clear. They can’t do it in public anymore. Although most of the fans consider it as fan service, they know sooner or later the public will suspect. And even though it seems like a lot of people ship them, the reality of the situation isn’t as simple as that.

 

“So they finally talked to you huh?” Jihoon mutters, not bothering to look at him. He knew his friend automatically knows when he has a problem or when he’s in trouble. And he doesn’t know whether to be thankful of that or not.

“Yeah.” Seungcheol slams his back against the studio’s couch. The dim lights seem to make his headache worse. The neon signs are not helping either. He cradles his head in his palms, hoping for it to go away.

“Was he harsh?”

“Not at all.” Seungcheol sighs at that. The VP didn’t make it sound like they’re committing the biggest crime in all of Korea’s music industry, and for that he’s grateful. “But I’m just worried about Han. I hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way.”

“Why are you worried about him? You should worry about yourself. We all know you can’t even stay more than ten meters away from him.” Jihoon spins on his chair to face him. “Look at you having a headache over this.”

“Ji, it’s not about that.”

“All you have to do is pretend on stage. After the tour, you can all be lovey-dovey in the hotel rooms.”

“Ji. Do you really think we can do that? The VP was talking about the fucked up judgmental industry.”

“As if you didn’t know about that yet?” Jihoon stands up to switch the lights on. He rarely does that as he prefers the serene set up of his dark room with neon lights lighting up the place. But maybe he thought it would help ease the headache. Thankfully, it did.

“We’ve always known. But it’s different being told in the face. I’m just worried about the long term effects of this.”

A can of beer flies in his direction and he was able to catch it just in time before it hits him square on his jaw. Jihoon opens a can of coke instead. “Just live for the moment Cheol. Whatever happens happens. But while you’re at it, of course you’ll both try your best to protect your relationship. Won’t you?”

Seungcheol nods. What else can he do but nod? Right now, the reality and severity of the entire situation is weighing on him and might haunt him for the days to come.

For the past few months he has been nothing but happier - happier that finally both of them have had the guts to admit to themselves, and to each other, how they felt. Weeks of practicing for Ideal Cut and Oh My promotions have obviously helped them let out whatever it was they’ve been keeping from each other since pre-debut. And after years, here they are. But it seems like fate isn’t done with them yet. It seems fate seems to want to wear them down and play with them a bit more.

Seungcheol is worried, _‘Would we be able to make it through? Again?’_

 

*****

 

“Are you sure you’re okay Han?”

“Of course I’m fine. Why would I not be?” He adjusts the pillow underneath his head, trying to make himself more comfortable. Joshua heard about the meeting in the VP’s office and everyone’s been concerned.

“I mean, didn’t VP tell you to stop?”

“Shua, VP told us not to be too public with our affection. But he didn’t ask us to break our relationship.”

“Hmmm, fair enough. Besides, you’ll be roommates this time right?”

“Not like on purpose. It’s per age Shua. And you know Jihoon loves being alone.”

Joshua hums as a response. He knows his friend is just concerned about him but why is everyone treating the situation like they’re gonna fall apart just because of this? They’re gonna be fine. It’s been years and they still ended up admitting to each other when Jeonghan taught his feelings will never see the light of day. Isn’t that something positive?

“Didn’t he also say mingle more with others? Won’t that lead to jealousy?” Joshua just had to point that out. To be honest, he was dreading it. “I mean you’ve always been close to everyone. But that includes Cheol. And now you have to exclude Cheol.”

Joshua sure knows how to dig things deeper. Why else would they be the closest of friends? His brain runs like his, and he doesn’t miss a single detail.

“We’ll be fine Shua. Cheol will understand. And so will I.” He should try to sound more convincing. Not to Joshua but to himself. He knows it will be difficult. Everyone knows his personality and it’s not something he can control. If he gets jealous, he gets jealous. That’s it.

“If you say so Han. You know I’ll always be here, alright?” Joshua taps his forehead playfully as kept his eyes closed, pretending that he’s totally not worried at all. He trusts Seungcheol. But he doesn’t trust himself.

“Thanks Shua, really.” he mumbles as he tries to push his consciousness aside. He needs sleep right now.

“Hmmm.” He feels Joshua’s weight leave the side of his bed. “I’ll go ahead now. Sleep well Hannie.”

“Goodnight Shua.”

 

As he hears the door shut close, Jeonghan’s fingers travel to his temples. Massaging the stress away. He’d have to try harder, to convince himself better - that everything will be fine. Just as he feels his head lighten, his phone beeps and a single notification pops up.

**_“sound_of_coups just posted a photo.”_ **

**_“10년”_ **

His phone clicks to a lock as he grabs a pillow to press against his face, forcing all light and thoughts out of his senses. He just needs to sleep right now.

_‘So much for jealousy huh.’_

 

*****

 

Jeonghan feels a hand brush his hair from his eyes. He doesn’t know what time it is and he doesn’t remember any schedule for today. He thought he could rest more. But as he felt lips softly touch his forehead, he opens his eyes to see Seungcheol smiling at him, hands caressing his jaw.

“Good morning Hannie.”

_‘Good morning indeed.’_

“Hmmmm.” he hums as a response, wanting to be snuggled more. Seungcheol giggles at this, knowing full well of his intentions. He feels two strong hands travel to his arms to give them a firm squeeze. It felt good.

“You want to sleep more?” Seungcheol asks him sweetly. Jeonghan nods his head as a reply but as soon as he felt the grasps leave his arms, he whines and grabs the other’s left hand.

“Don’t go.” Squinting his eyes at Seungcheol, he gives him the cutest pout he could present. “Stay here.”

He successfully pulls his victim back on his bed and receives a pat on the head followed by a light kiss. “I can’t. I promised Jihoon a meal today.”

_‘Right. 10 years.’_

Remembering Seungcheol’s post last night, he burried his face on the other’s back, trying to inhale his smell hoping it would make him feel better. It worked, except the fact that he’s still bitter Seungcheol’s first post on Instagram isn’t with him or about him. He sulks even more.

His silence was probably a red flag to the other as he feels Seungcheol turn around to face him. Jeonghan kept his head down, not wanting to show Seungcheol how he’s feeling about all this. It sucked to be him right now.

“Hannie, what’s wrong?” he feels a hand cup his chin, Seungcheol trying to look into his hazy orbs. He hated how weak he felt right now.

“Nothing.” he lies as he fakes a yawn to cover the gloss forming on his eyes. “I just feel sleepy. Have fun with Jihoon.”

Jeonghan throws himself on the bed, not wanting another minute with Seungcheol incase the latter catches up with his jealousy. He knows Seungcheol nor Jihoon deserve to be thought badly by him, but with recent events, Jeonghan just couldn’t help it.

“I’ll be back Han. I love you.”

“Love you too.” he mumbles back inaudibly. The door handle snaps shut and he wishes he could truly go back to sleep right now.

 

*****

 

“Hyung, you look off today. What happened?”

“Nothing happened. Why?” he continues to tap on his phone, trying to figure out a way to get past this level. He has been on it for four rounds.

“Well, you invited me to come to the gym yet you’re there playing games instead.”

“I’m sorry Gyu, I just feel a little demotivated.” he puts down the phone for a while as he looks at Mingyu wiping his sweat off his forehead.

“I don’t even know why you invited me instead of Jeonghan-hyung.”

He doesn’t know it either. What was he thinking? He needed to get used to it, maybe. Not just onstage but they needed to spend less time together backstage. Or outdoors. He couldn’t risk it - risk his relationship with him being exposed to the public. He just doesn’t want Jeonghan to get hurt.

“I just wanted to work out with you. Just like last time. But when I got here, I got lazy. Sorry Gyu.”

“Really hyung, is everything okay?” Mingyu stared at him with all seriousness and he doesn’t know how to respond. Of course he is okay.

“What do you mean? Of course I am okay.”

“Just please take care of yourself okay, hyung? You always look after each and every one of us. We don’t want you to be neglecting yourself. Or your happiness.”

That was very thoughtful. He smiles at Mingyu and waves at him as he makes his way out of the gym. Seungcheol was left there lying on the mat, not knowing what to make out of that conversation. He exits the game and goes to the messaging app, tapping on the name of the person who never left his mind the whole day.

 

**Cheollie: _“Hannie, have you eaten? :’) ”_**

**Hannie: _“Yes I have. And you?”_**

**Cheollie: _“I haven’t yet. :( Will you come with me?”_**

**Hannie: _“I thought you were going out with Jihoon?”_**

**Cheollie: _“He cancelled on me last minute because Bumzu-hyung needed help with something.”_**

**Hannie: _"Hmmm, so am I second option now?”_**

**Cheollie: _"You never are. Come with me. I miss you.”_**

**Hannie: _“Hmmm. You’re lucky I miss you too.”_**

Ah he sure is lucky. He really did miss Jeonghan despite seeing him just this morning. He knows what he said, about getting used to the distance and stuff. But he can’t. He just can’t. So he happily gets up and finds his way out of the gym to meet Jeonghan halfway.

 

*****

 

“Of all things, you wanted to eat sushi.” he fakes annoyance as he enjoys his sweet slice of omelette.

“I have cravings Cheol. Spare me.” Jeonghan replies despite his mouth full - his cheeks stuffed with sushi. Seungcheol must have another heart attack. Jeonghan’s just cute without effort.

“You call this cravings? We ordered ten plates Han, we haven’t even been here for fifteen minutes.”

“Aish! We’ve been here for twenty and yes I want more.” Jeonghan gives him the deathly glare as he signals the waiter for another serving of the lobster salad. Seungcheol laughs at this. He must have a death wish. “Why?? Why are you laughing?!”

It wasn’t long after when Jeonghan starts to laugh with him and their silly jokes and neverending banters continue. Ah how great it feels being this carefree with the man he’s in love with. Seeing Jeonghan’s eyes light up when food arrives, his hearty laugh whenever they remember something embarrassing or funny, or when he just smiles at anything Seungcheol says. He feels full - not with food but with love and happy memories as they made a few more that afternoon.

Jeonghan completes his day after all - as always.

 

*****

 

“You think we can go to the club tonight?” Jeonghan tried to sound so casual but he knows it’s a sensitive topic. The VP particularly highlighted that they must not be seen being affectionate in public but he missed it - he missed going to the club with Seungcheol, staying in VIP rooms with the loud music blasting outside, forgetting about stress or work, just downing in on a reasonable amount of alcohol - enough to be buzzed but not too much so he can still cling onto his person.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea Han.” Seungcheol looks at him curiously, maybe trying to figure out why he invited him all of a sudden.

“I mean, we can bring Jihoon again.”

“But you know I won’t be able to keep my hands off you when we’re out. Even with Jihoon around.”

Jeonghan nods and considers the thought. “True.”

“And you know you can’t stay off my lap for so long.”

“Also true.”

Seungcheol taps Jeonghan’s thighs as he tucks under Seungcheol’s arms. Rest days ought to be like this lately - Seungcheol staying in Jeonghan’s room for a while until he has to go. He almost always doesn’t have to, but room arrangements are made for a reason.

After hours of idle activity, nonsense talking and reminiscing, the younger was already half asleep. The alarm clock by the desk read 3AM. Seungcheol lifts Jeonghan’s head off his lap as he lays him in bed properly. The latter mumbles incoherently and Seungcheol always finds it cute. He kisses those moving lips lightly and drapes a blanket over him. He wishes everything would always be as is because for now, he couldn’t be any happier.

 

*****

 

The rehearsals begin and Seungcheol finds himself torn between focusing on the practice over focusing on Jeonghan. No, he’s being really serious. He should be monitoring the members too but his eyes never seem to leave Jeonghan. It’s like a magnet that whenever Jeonghan moves, his eyes follow - whenever there are arms around Jeonghan, whoever it was, his eyes seem to be sharper than ever. Maybe it’s the stress of having to stay away from him that built this connection. But it’s such a hassle. He has to focus now. He wonders how Jeonghan is doing such a good job.

“Hyung, it’s our turn.” Hansol taps him on the shoulder. His eyes hesitantly leave Jeonghan and Dokyeom huddled in one corner laughing about something.

“SEVENTEEN HIP HOP UNIT CHECK-IN”, the manager says out loud as they position themselves in the center of the practice room. “MUSIC START.”

Seungcheol tries so hard to focus on the music. He dismisses all the thoughts running on his mind and gets himself immersed in the beat. He could do that. He doesn’t even know why he’s so bothered about having to stay away from Jeonghan in public. It’s not gonna affect them, would it?

He raps his lines flawlessly as he gets himself into the moment. Concerts, fanmeets, the happiest they become is when they perform. But nothing much more special than seeing all of them performing in good health and condition. Seungcheol smiles at the thought. He loves his brothers so much, it feels good to have this one month schedule with them. Maybe he should just focus on the positives.

 

*****

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us Han?”

“No. I’m fine Cheol. It’s your dinner plans, I seriously don’t want to..”

“But Jihoon won’t mind. Come with us.”

“It’s okay Cheol. Actually, I’m sleepy, so go now.”Jeonghan playfully pushes Seungcheol off his bed while he clutches his blanket close to him. Seriously, he would rather go to sleep right now. “Go now!” he sticks his tongue out at his boyfriend, not wanting the other to catch a whiff of his jealousy. As the door closes, Jeonghan buries himself under his pillows, looking for comfort in the softness and darkness.

Well, isn’t it supposed to go the other way around? Isn’t it when you’re already secured and in a relationship with someone, you shouldn’t get jealous too easily because you know his loyalty is with you? But why has the jealousy been worse than when you were just goofing around?

_‘Well that’s because this time, he’s actually mine to lose.’_

Well that sucks, doesn’t it? He busies himself with Twitter, scrolling down to find fancams of him  and Cheol during Ideal Cut. He missed it and the screams of the fans whenever they interact on stage. He doesn’t get the irony of it. If the fans love it, what does it matter to the public who doesn’t even stan them? He refuses to find the logic.

Time flew fast and before he knew it, he was already dead sleepy - this time for real. It’s good though - sleep is good. He lets himself drift into unconsciousness as he only thinks about tomorrow when he gets to see Seungcheol again. His phone locks on its own, a photo of Seungcheol’s selca on Instagram fading from his screen.

 

*****

 

“Are you all ready for today?!” Seungkwan walks in the practice room, all energetic and excited. Everyone’s excited of course. Finally, they’re travelling back to Japan and they won’t be back for a few weeks. Everyone’s ready to leave except for Vernon who seems to be caught up with something on his phone. If no one taps that guy, he wouldn’t even probably know there’s a zombie apocalypse happening.

“I’m ready!” Soonyoung responds with equal energy. He doesn’t know how these people manage to collect and use up so much energy for trivial things like this. “Dokyeom are you ready?!”

“I AM READY!” Dokyeom squeals. Ah another one who’s even more energetic than the rest. He smiles at them, thinking about how the Japan tour this time will shape them. So much memories will be made, at the same time so much work to do. He only hopes everything is for the better.

Seungcheol arrives at the practice room tailing the manager who looked as stressed as he can be. They gather up for final instructions before heading over to their vans and, as always, they were grouped into units.

Another hustle for the public as they step down the vehicles. Press photographers and fansites were already waiting for their arrival and as per usual they stand in a line as they greet everyone. Jeonghan can’t wait till they get to the waiting gate or the plane - anywhere away from the public eye.

“Hyung.” Dokyeom approaches him with a whisper. “Let’s sit beside each other on the plane?”

Dokyeom look so expectant. Usually, Jeonghan would never reject him. He loves being with Dokyeom as they always have fun together laughing about silly stuff. But this time, he just really needs time with Seungcheol.

“I’m sorry Kyeom, I’ll sit with Cheol today.” he mumbles apologetically as they walk towards the immigration counter.

“But Mingyu said he will be sitting beside Seungcheol-hyung today.”

“WHAT?!” Jeonghan looks around to search for either of the two. He spots Mingyu tailing Soonyoung while Seungcheol was tailing Jihoon on the far right. He makes a decision to approach the taller one while leaving a disappointed Dokyeom behind.

“Mingyu.”

The giant puppy turns around, mouth partially open in shock as he realizes who said his name.

“Yes hyung?”

“Who said you’re sitting beside Seungcheol today?”

“Manager said so.”

“I’ll be sitting beside Seungcheol.”

Mingyu was stunned for a moment, unsure why he’s in the middle of this. “Uhhh. Okay.”

Satisfied, Jeonghan left him with a grin and proceeded to make his way with the other members for immigration. Usually he won’t be this clingy, but this time it’s different. He’ll just make sure he’ll get enough time with Seungcheol as much as he can.

 

*****

 

This is what he loves about concerts and fanmeets - the thrill. Even though they’ve been performing for years now, with lots of shows in just a matter of months, he’s still not used to the feeling. There’s still that doubt and fear that something might go wrong, but more importantly there’s that feeling of having butterflies in your stomach - the excitement of singing and dancing and seeing smiling, screaming faces. He loves it so much. That’s why beyond the exhaustion and stress, everything is just so worthy of it all.

And what he loves most is the encore, when they can freely run around and take a look at the crowd properly. He takes a look at everyone’s faces shining in delight as they sing to Holiday. First night of the tour and it’s already this packed - Seungcheol can never be thankful enough.

As the song finally comes to an end, he rushes his way towards the center of the stage waiting for other members for them to make their final bow. Usually, Jeonghan would run to him - always. He spots him running the long stretch towards the center, silver hair bouncing against the purple and white light - he’s unreal. Seungcheol smiles to himself, thinking how lucky he is that he can call this person his. Their eyes meet for a second, and Seungcheol wishes Jeonghan could see how much love he holds towards the other, but Jeonghan stares at the other members and run towards the space between Dokyeom and Joshua. It stung a bit but he knows it’s because of the VP’s instructions. It sucked not to have their hands clasped together as they make their bows for the thousands of Carats. But still, with a happy heart, thankful that everything went well for all thirteen of them without injury or anything serious, Seungcheol smiles and waves to the crowd as they close the first day of the Haru tour.

 

*****

 

His boyfriend is sulking and he doesn’t know why. Ever since they arrived at their hotel room, Seungcheol went straight to the shower and stayed there for like thirty minutes. Jeonghan is hungry and exhausted, he wants to shower too and call it a day. But right now he has no choice but to wait.

Wearing only a robe, Seungcheol steps out of the bathroom, drying his newly permed hair with a towel. He never spoke a single word nor even looked at him, and Jeonghan was dying to know what he did to deserve it. But he rushed to the bathroom first before anything. That will have to wait.

It took him only fifteen minutes even when his thoughts were all over the place. He didn’t expect Seungcheol to be so cold towards him especially now that they’re in their own room. He hopes it is some childish reason again because that one’s easier to handle.

Feeling anxious, he slides the shower door open and steps out of the shower clutching his towels. His boyfriend was already asleep - or pretending to be asleep - Jeonghan has yet to find out. He grabs his pajamas and dresses up quickly - he didn’t even want to blow dry his hair. As soon as he hangs the towels, he squeezes himself on Seungcheol’s bed and wraps his arms around his waist. His boyfriend tenses around his hold, an indication that he was still awake.

“What did I do now?” Jeonghan whines softly. It usually works on Seungcheol, but when he received no answer he becomes a bit worried.

“Cheollie…” he hears a deep sigh as Seungcheol attempts to turn his body towards him. Seungcheol’s eyes looked tired, he wishes he could kiss the stress away.

“Han, go to sleep. We’re exhausted. It’s nothing to worry about.”

When his boyfriend says things like this it’s definitely something to worry about. But what did he do? He seriously doesn’t know.

“At least tell me why…”

There was a brief pause before Seungcheol sighs again, shutting his eyes closed he huffs a breath. “Just hold my hand during encore okay? At least during encore.”

Jeonghan doesn’t know whether he should smile, get upset or feel relieved - his boyfriend is so petty and cute. “Of course I will. I’m sorry.” with a smile, he plants a soft kiss on Seungcheol’s nose and hops down the bed to go his own. He doesn’t see Seungcheol’s reaction on that, but he doesn’t hear him move or take a breath.

“Goodnight Seungcheollie.” he taps on the switch for the lamps and bundles himself under the covers.

How lucky is he to have someone who longs for him that much?

 

*****

 

Bright lights that almost blind him. Another night at the arena, another night to see the most beautiful ocean of lights swaying along to the music. Seungcheol takes a pause to look at the audience, everyone’s faces looking towards them with the sweetest smiles and the happiest screams. He’s never gonna get enough of this.

Another chorus of Holiday plays, twelve other boys scattered on stage - jumping, screaming, singing, laughing. They’re always so full of energy, sometimes Seungcheol wishes he has that much energy. So he focuses on his source - these thousands of people, these twelve boys - especially one.

They line up, ready to take their bow. Hands were searching of those beside them, but Seungcheol makes a space instead. He can see him still out in front, a few feet away running towards him. He hides a faint smile forming on his lips as Jeonghan stretches an arm to reach for his hand.

_‘He remembered.’_

Everything was alright. The song ends and Seungcheol makes the final greeting to close the night. But a second after their bow, Holiday plays again and all of the members shot off the centerstage to run in every direction possible. Jeonghan’s hand slides off his, but it doesn’t matter. He could just hold it later tonight, for as long as he wants. A smile forms on his lips, but also a look of disbelief painted on his face - he feels so old not having the same energy as the other twelve. Despite that, today was a happy day - as long as it ends with Jeonghan’s hand in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written this a while back when Haru Tour started but I can't seem to find the inspiration to finish it. This was supposed to be one-shot but I thought I'd find more reason to finish it if half of it is posted so I am sorry. I also have not proof-read anything so I hope you still enjoy reading this despite that. Ahhh I've been in a slump lately so I am really sorry. Thanks to everyone who read this! Love you!
> 
> -A❤️


	2. Distant

“Han, let’s go!” Joshua opens the door of the hotel room so forcefully that he almost threw his shoe at his friend.

“Hao is coming with us.” he says as he tries to calm his nerves.

“Is he ready?” Joshua steps inside their room, taking a seat on Seungcheol’s bed as he waits for his friend to finish tying his shoelaces.

“I think he is. He just went back to get his camera. He’s teaching me a few tricks.”

“Okay! Are you ready though?”

“Yep!” he huffs as he ties the final knot.

“Where’s Cheol, by the way?”

“He went to the gym with Jihoon and Soonyoung.”

“Did you tell him where we’re going?”

“Nah but I told him we’re going out today.”

“Hmmmmm.”

The door swings open again and Minghao walks in with two cameras in his hands. He hands one to Jeonghan who looked too excited to say his thanks loudly.

“I hope you don’t mind me tagging along with you two.” Minghao addresses Joshua directly.

“Not at all! I think it’s great that you’re coming with us!” Joshua answers right away, painting a smile on Minghao’s face automatically.

“Let’s get going then! While the weather’s still nice to us.”

They all head out of the room, making sure the door is locked. You can never be sure these days. Jeonghan looked forward to this day the most. Seeing the other members get into photography these days, his interest was piqued. If only Seungcheol could go with them, it would certainly be a perfect day for him.

It was cold, but the sun was out so it compensates. Minghao starts taking photos of the view in front of them while Joshua enjoys the sea breeze. It was a fairly good weather and Jeonghan felt happy and content. He feels like it’s a day to finally relax and just get rid of negative thoughts while looking at the serene waters. He walks over to the edge of the platform. The waters looked so soothing that he wanted to dip his toes.

“Take your shoes off, hyung.” Minghao softly suggests.

“I’m afraid it’s too cold.”

“Nah, it won’t be.” Minghao says as he takes another snap of Joshua who was walking back towards them, a smile painted on his face.

“Shua… let’s both take our shoes off.” Jeonghan directs his attention to his friend.

“What? Why?”

“I want to dip my toes in the water.”

“Then why should I do it too??” Joshua’s eyes widen, teasing Jeonghan who looked like a small kid asking a friend to go with him to catch grasshoppers. The elder pouts as he sits by the ledge, knees pulled close to his chest. “Kidding, Hannie. I wanted to do that too actually.” Joshua sits beside him and starts untangling the knots of his shoelaces. Jeonghan smiles and starts to do the same.

“How about you, Hao?”

“Nah I’m good. I’ll just stay here.”

Their toes barely touch the waters. But the gentle waves made cold splashes reach their ankles and it was good enough for Jeonghan. Joshua dangles his feet beside him and all three of them were silent, basking in the warm sunlight. The camera shutter continuously snaps as Minghao takes perfect candid shots of the two best friends.

“The photos really look good. You should post these.” Minghao mutters as he takes a look at each photo he took. Both turn towards the younger as he admires his work.

“They do, Hao. Thank you!” Jeonghan smiles as he scrolls through the photos. “You should post these, Shua, since you’ve got your Instagram.”

“Hmmm, okay I will.” Joshua agrees as he peeks at the small screen. “Caption: Celebrating friendship.” he highlights as he gestures an imaginary signboard in the air.

“Geez, that’s so cheesy.” Jeonghan grits his teeth while glaring at Joshua.

“Sorry I can’t come up with something like _‘10 years’._ ” Joshua teases Jeonghan.

Wide-eyed, Jeonghan threatens his best friend. “Do you want to know how cold the water is, Shua?”

The threat was simple but very powerful. Joshua just nervously chuckles while grabbing Jeonghan’s hand. “I’m just kidding, Han. Besides, we also have our - what - 7th anniversary coming up?”

“You shouldn’t be saying ‘anniversary’, hyung. Especially not when Coups-hyung is around.” Minghao absentmindedly mutters.

“He isn’t around. And it’s still called anniversary.” Joshua defends himself while Jeonghan just rolls his eyes, hand still in Joshua’s hold. Minghao grabs the opportunity and snaps photos of them talking candidly. But then looking at the view, Minghao comes up with an idea.

“Hyung, lift your hands up.” Minghao suggested. Confused, both of them look at the younger, then realizing that they still have their hands clasped. “Just lift them up.” Minghao cutely gestures as he positions himself behind the two. Finally understanding what Minghao meant, both of them lift their hands as they look at the beautiful view in front of them.

 _‘What a sight…’_ Jeonghan daydreams. _‘Thank the heavens I have a best friend like Shua.’_

He feels his hand being pulled down as Minghao finishes snapping shots.

_‘If only Cheol were here, we could have taken beautiful photos as well.’_

Thoughts of Seungcheol always comforted him. He looks at the distant horizon, thinking why he can do this with other members, but not Seungcheol. It’s unfair - for him and Cheol. But it would also be unfair for the boys if they’ll be selfish and think of only their relationship. There is so much more at stake. Their relationship can wait. Jeonghan can wait.

Timelessly.

  
*****

 

His whole body ached. He’s been serious about working out lately, wanting to lose reasonable weight while still toning the rest of his body. But he easily gets exhausted these days. Jihoon and Soonyoung have been really motivated so he’s sort of pressured to do well too. And after hours, here he was, in bed, unmoving, with his phone beside him.

An Instagram post from Seventeen’s account makes his phone vibrate briefly. He unlocks it, expecting to see Dokyeom or Dino posting a selca. But what he saw was definitely unexpected. There he was - his man - unmistakably an angel with his silver hair and loose immaculate white shirt - Yoon Jeonghan looking excited and happy. He was holding his phone as far as he could, with the beautiful sea as his background, twirling around with his other arm outstretched. He looked ethereal.

Seungcheol reads the caption _“Carats, let’s all be happy.”_ He doesn’t know what took over him, but he finds himself typing **_“I am happy.”_ ** And as if that wasn’t enough, he adds the two hearts emoji. Tapping on ‘POST’, Seungcheol reflects on his decision. Would they get scolded for this? No right? It’s just a harmless comment. _‘With two hearts…’_ Damn, maybe he could have used a smiley instead, that would have been less suspicious.

He doesn’t know how long he was contemplating on his comment when his phone vibrates again.

 

**“One messsage from Hannie”**

 

 **Hannie:** **_“I miss you already. Wish you came with us.”_ **

**Cheollie:** **_“You looked beautiful. I miss you too. Come back soon.”_ **

**Hannie:** **_“Yes, love you!”_ **

**Cheollie:** **_“I love you too.”_ **

 

It’s insane how easy Jeonghan could paint a smile on his lips. He kept rewatching the video, looking at how perfect this man is. Seungcheol couldn’t help but be in awe and he was stuck there for a very long time staring. _‘I can’t believe he’s mine.’_

He doesn’t know when but it seems like he drifted off to sleep caz the next thing he knew, he felt soft lips leaving his forehead. Seungcheol opens his eyes and spots the culprit moving away from his bed. He grabs Jeonghan’s hand and pulls the man on top of him, hugging the other tightly.

“CHEOL! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Jeonghan yells at him, seemingly upset. But Seungcheol just grunts and even tightens his old around the other’s waist. He smells Jeonghan’s hair which smelt like the sea, it’s so addictive.

“I love you.” he whispers.

“Cheol, I need to go shower first!” Jeonghan still sounded upset, but obviously calmed down.

“Hmmm no, stay here for a while.” He rolls over to his side so Jeonghan could have some space on his bed to face him. They both look at each other for a few moments, not missing a single heartbeat. “I missed you.”

“I smell like salt water and sweat.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes, but a smile was threatening to form on his lips.

“You smell like you.” He removes his right hand from Jeonghan’s waist to brush the stray strands of hair away from his eyes. “And I love it.”

But the ever so stubborn man finds an escape and rolls off the bed, hopping his way happily towards the bathroom. Seungcheol was caught off guard, but nonetheless he was happy - extremely happy that finally Jeonghan was here beside him.

 

*****

 

Clutching the towel, Jeonghan closes the door of the bathroom behind him. He could feel his heartbeat get faster. Damn, how can Seungcheol make him feel so many things? And even so, he doesn’t even know why he gets nervous around Seungcheol sometimes. They’ve basically been together for a very long time, they know each other so well, they’ve been so comfortable around each other - but sometimes, Jeonghan would just lose all his senses and all rationality when it comes to his boyfriend. He thinks he’s going insane.

Finally able to calm his nerves down, Jeonghan heads for the shower - a much-needed warm shower would probably help him think rationally. He’s definitely in love with Choi Seungcheol and he only hopes it would always just be a way forward for him - for them. He drowns in his thoughts - sorting through every beautiful moment, every painful memory and every thought about how they would overcome the current challenges.

It has been difficult for Jeonghan. And he doesn’t know whether Seungcheol knows - about how he felt when he first met him, about how he slowly fell for him, about how he thought every single touch and smile meant something - something mutual. But then Seungcheol fell for someone else and Jeonghan thought he was forever broken. It hurt so much to think that the feeling was mutual, but found out that it wasn’t. And even after Seungcheol broke up with his girlfriend, Jeonghan couldn’t find it in himself to have faith in his love again. But his heart was persistent. It hasn’t moved on, hasn’t let go - he found himself falling for the same guy again. This time, he’s thankful that Seungcheol finally reciprocated.

He turns the knob of the shower, finally dismissing all thoughts. Grabbing his towel and a robe, he heads out, expecting to see Seungcheol on his bed being all pouty complaining about how he took so long to shower. Instead he sees an empty bed. He grabs his phone, ignoring all the notifications, just to see no messages - not a single one from Seungcheol, not even a note on where his boyfriend has gone to.

 _‘It’s past eleven, where did he fucking go?!’_ Jeonghan didn’t want to overthink but he can’t help it. _‘He was even cuddly earlier…’_ Grabbing his pants and shirt, Jeonghan quickly dresses up and heads out of their room - phone, keys and a mask on his hand.

*****

 

“You’re overthinking again. It’s just a photo.” Jihoon huffs as he lifts the weights.

“It’s not JUST a photo. It’s a series of photos, FYI.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes at his best friend. “Cheol. STOP. You’re obviously overthinking.”

“I mean... why did they have to hold hands? Can’t they just post a photo standing beside each other? Like this one!” Seungcheol shows Jihoon a photo of Joshua and Jeonghan backstage at a music show. “This screams FRIENDS. Or maybe co-IDOL.”

“Choi Seungcheol, let me just remind you that you’ve posted more shit about me and Mingyu these past few days and none about him.” Jihoon takes a gulp from his water bottle, finally done with the weights.

“But that’s only because VP doesn’t want us to go public!” He knows it’s a lame excuse, but even he can’t figure out why he doesn’t have any post with Jeonghan.

“Bull. Shit.” his best friend stands up, heading his way towards the lockers. “You know it’s because you don’t spend as much time with him as you do with us.”

“AGAIN. That’s because we can’t be seen in public together.” he reasons.

“Choi Seungcheol.” Jihoon looks at Seungcheol, then around the gym. “Is there anyone here?”

Jihoon has a point. “But Ji, that is not the point.”

“That is the point!” his best friend points his long index finger at Seengcheol’s face, paired with an intense glare. “And you’re overthinking about the photo.”

This silenced him as he stares on the rubber flooring of the gym and his hotel room slippers.

“Go back to your room and cuddle with your boyfriend. I’m having drinks with Soonyoung.” Jihoon was already walking out of the hotel’s gym before Seungcheol could reply. “Of course you are!”

Now he doesn’t know what to do. Jihoon has a point and he feels bad about assuming things and leaving Jeonghan alone in their room. Jeonghan must be upset and now he doesn’t know how to fix this. He opens his messaging app and taps on Jeonghan’s name.

 **Cheollie:** **_“Babe, are you done showering? Sorry had to meet Jihoon for a while. I’m on my way back to our room.”_ **

He stood up and head over straight to their room thinking about ways on how to apologize. As he reaches the elevator of the gym floor, his phone dings.

 **Hannie:** **_“It’s fine. I’m at Joshua’s room anyway.”_ **

Seungcheol’s smile left his face. Jeonghan didn’t even care that he wasn’t there. He automatically feels like shit for worrying about how to apologize to an upset boyfriend.

 _‘I guess Jihoon can be wrong sometimes too.’_ He exits the conversation and taps on Jihoon’s name.

 **Cheol:** **_“I am going with you and Soonyoung.”_ **

**Cheol:** **_“And you can’t say no.”_ **

Pissed is an understatement. He aggressively taps the floor number of the lobby and heads out into the cold night. He doesn’t give a fuck right now - he needs a drink.

 

*****

 

 **Jeonghannie:** **_“He’s not yet here. I told you.”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“Maybe he went out with Jihoon and Soonyoung. I heard Soonyoung talking to Wonu earlier.”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“But he said he’s on his way back to our room. It’s been an hour since his message Shua.”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“Why don’t you just message him? Ask him where he is.”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“You think I didn’t?”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“Go sleep Han. It was tiring today. Just go rest.”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“But it’s frustrating!!”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“I know it is but you can fight about that in the morning okay? It’s almost 1AM for God’s sake. Get some sleep!”_ **

Jeonghan was livid. He doesn’t know whether to be upset or worried or sad. Maybe he feels like all three of those combined. At first he thought Seungcheol got upset and jealous because of Joshua’s post. But then he messaged him sweetly and he thought Seungcheol was fine. Then how come he’s not back in their room yet, supposedly cuddling Jeonghan?

 **Jeonghannie:** **_“Shua…”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“What if there’s someone else?”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“What if I lose him again?”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“Shua… I don’t think I can lose him again.”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“Han, you won’t lose him. The guy’s too whipped for you.”_ **

Jeonghan was about to type another reply but then his phone rings and his best friend’s name pops out. He slides the green icon and waits for a series of lectures. Instead, he gets a very calming voice at the other end of the line.

“Han… I’m sorry I posted the photos. I didn’t mean for this to happen. But please don’t worry. Cheol loves you a lot. He isn’t seeing anyone else. You know that.”

_‘Does he? That’s what he thought too before. Until a girl showed up.’_

“You know I don’t know everything that happens with Seungcheol.” his voice was breaking, almost to the point of crying. But he tried his best to hold his emotions in place.

“Han, that was two years ago. It wasn’t even that serious right?”

“Point is, I am temporary in his life Shua. We both know that.”

“TEMPORARY? How in the world are you temporary when you’re basically tied together all the time since you’ve met?!”

“We thought so too. If it’s a big deal, he wouldn’t have met someone else during those time when I thought we were exclusive!” Jeonghan’s voice was laced with both anger and sadness. He doesn’t think he could hold it any longer - he might burst into tears soon.

“Han, it didn’t work out because it wasn’t meant to work out. But you’re here now. And you’re his and he’s yours. Please don’t make this bigger than it is. Else you would end up destroying your relationship yourselves.”

Joshua sounded genuinely concerned and Jeonghan feels bad for bothering him. He has a point. Jeonghan just needs to understand Seungcheol more. Now that they’re officially together, now that their feelings for each other are more transparent, they need to talk it out and not play guessing games.

“I’ll talk to him Shua. I am sorry.”

“If only I could delete the photos, Han. I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s not your fault. And we aren’t even sure if it’s because of that.”

“Just go to sleep. He will be there when you wake up and you can talk it out.” he hears Joshua yawn, but his friend stays on the line. “But know that I am always here okay?”

“Okay. Good night Shua.” he hangs up the call and flops on the bed, thinking about the situation in the morning. He’s dreading it already. He misses good days with Seungcheol and he hopes they will have one again.

 

*****

 

He woke up shirtless and he doesn’t even remember much of what happened last night. The last face he saw was Mingyu’s, probably while he was dropping Seungcheol on his bed. He looks to his side to find Jeonghan’s bed empty, and after gaining all of his senses back, he hears the faint sound of the shower in the background.

Alcohol and anxiety really don’t go well together. He got carried away last night, and he isn’t even sure if his friends tried to stop him from drinking too much. His head starts to hurt but he ignores it as he tries to look for his phone. Just then, the bathroom doors open and Jeonghan steps out drying his hair with a towel while wearing just a robe. Seungcheol looked at his dead phone, avoiding Jeonghan’s eyes. But he didn’t even need to. Jeonghan just walked past him, straight to his open luggage, not even sparing a glance at his direction.

_‘He must be pissed.’_

Pissed might not be the correct word. If Jeonghan was pissed, he would yell. But not minding him at all? That means the end of the world. Not wanting to make the situation worse, Seungcheol hops off his bed and goes straight to the bathroom. He’s worried about how the day will go, or how they will be acting around each other. All he knows is that he’s still conflicted about Jeonghan and Joshua, and his head fucking hurts a lot.

He splashes water on his face, wanting to get rid of the stickiness of whatever shit he consumed last night. _‘This won’t do.’_ Stripping his clothes off, Seungcheol gets in the shower, drowning his thoughts and emptying his emotions down the drain. He doesn’t know how to confront his boyfriend, moreso Jeonghan is also pissed because of last night. Where will this lead them?

With his eyes closed and head swimming in thoughts, Seungcheol doesn’t hear the bathroom door open. It only registered to him that he wasn’t alone with his thoughts when the sound of the blowdryer invades his senses. Jeonghan was there, all dressed up, makeup almost done, drying his hair. Seungcheol didn’t even bother to cover himself up, his boyfriend doesn’t even know he exists.

He knows he won’t be able to survive the day in peace. They have to reconcile or else his mood - both of their moods - will be shit all day. Add to the fact that his headache is making things worse than it already is. He steps out of the shower, grabbing the towel nearby to dry himself. Jeonghan isn’t fazed - not one bit. He grabs the robe by the door and covers himself up.

As he nears him, Seungcheol feels the urge to just grab Jeonghan then and there to kiss him. But he knows better - his boyfriend will be goddamned pissed, it might even be the end of the world. Instead, he rests his chin on Jeonghan’s free shoulder and sulks.

“I miss you.”

Jeonghan continues to blow dry his hair, not even acknowledging his presence. He puts his arms around his boyfriend’s waist pulling him close to him, but Jeonghan resists.

“I’m sorry about last night. My mind was a complete mess.”

There was silence. No blowdryer noise. No reply. Nothing. Seungcheol lifts his chin off Jeonghan’s shoulder and instead buries his nose in Jeonghan’s hair. He loves his scent so much.

“I love you.” he whispers. And he hopes Jeonghan knows how much he does.

“My mom wants to see you.” Jeonghan says after a while. Seungcheol doesn’t move - he keeps his hold on him.

“Hmmmm.”

“She said she misses you.”

“I miss her too. And your dad. Let’s go visit somewhere nice hmmm?”

He feels Jeonghan’s hand touching his briefly. It was gentle and longing, but a split second later, his hands were freed of his boyfriend’s waist. _‘He’s still upset.’_

Seungcheol doesn’t know how he could turn the situation around. So he only hopes for good things when they get back to Korea. It’s just for a week but at least they will have time. He just needs to have faith in their relationship.

_‘We’re stronger than this, Han.’_

 

*****

 

“Where’s Cheollie?”

“Uhhh, he’s not feeling well mom. He says sorry for not being able to grant your request.”

“He’s not feeling well? Then why are we in Jeju? Why aren’t we back there looking after him?”

“He’s fine, mom.” Jeonghan is worried. Actually, very worried. But he doesn’t want to spoil his time with his family. “It’s his knees. It’s starting to hurt again.”

“Omo. Again?” His mom looks like she wants to fly back to Seoul. Sometimes Jeonghan can’t still process how fond his parents are of Seungcheol. He doesn’t know whether to be thankful or worried - especially now that their relationship is going through a rough patch.

“He’ll be fine. Chan, Shua and Dokyeom are with him.” Jeonghan says through a forced smile though his forehead might be visibly creased in worry.

“Check on him every now and then, okay?” Jeonghan can’t do anything but nod. He does check with Joshua whenever he can. But it’s just really difficult when he’s not around and when they’re not in good terms.

For the time being, Jeju was breathtaking. He took lots of pictures - of him, of his mom and dad, of the surroundings. He even remembered to take a video of him reminding Carats to be happy. That should be an ongoing thing - taking videos in beautiful places, reminding Carats to throw all their worries away.

 

*****

 

 **Joshuji:** **_“Han, you won’t believe what happened.”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“What?”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“I know you’re having a great time with your family and all. And I don’t wanna spoil it. But I think I have to tell you.”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“What?”_ **

**Joshuji: “** **_Don’t be upset. But I think it was total coincidence.”_ **

**Jeonghannie:** **_“Spill it, Shua.”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“She approached us - our table.”_ **

Jeonghan doesn’t know what Joshua was talking about. He was panting from the hike up the hill and his mind could not comprehend anything that wasn’t straight to the fucking point.

 **Jeonghannie:** **_“Am I supposed to automatically know who SHE is?”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“Hannie… Chae-Eun… She’s here at the restaurant where we’re having our dinner…”_ **

Oh. She’s back? And at such perfect timing?

 **Jeonghannie:** **_“And?”_ **

**Joshuji:** **_“They just talked… for a while.”_ **

Jeonghan doesn’t reply. He doesn’t know what to reply. _‘Well what the fuck do you fucking reply to that?’_

 **Joshuji:** **_“Fuck Han. Cheol told me not to tell you caz he doesn’t want you to think anything. But I screwed up. Please don’t tell Cheol I told you. -________-”_ **

And he even wants to hide it? Jeonghan was livid. And hurt. He doesn’t know which weighs more to him right now. He feels so many things - anger, jealousy, fear - so many things.

It was finally getting dark and the sunset was supposed to look beautiful, but instead it looked desolate to him. His parents were done taking pictures of the place and they know they have to head back down. But Jeonghan was now weak in the knees.

“Hannie, are you alright?” his dad hurries to his side as he grabs onto the railings lining the slope.

“I’m fine dad. Sorry I think I’m just exhausted.” he forced a smile though it might have come out bitter.

“We should head back. You should rest a bit before we fly back tomorrow.” his mom joins them shortly, worry also etched on her face. Jeonghan feels bad about all these. Flying back tomorrow means seeing Seungcheol. And probably seeing an unwanted face again. He now dreads the trip back to Seoul.

 

*****

 

He hears the door to the apartment open and Seungcheol scrambles to his feet to meet his boyfriend. The sudden movement triggered a piercing pain to his knee but he ignores it as he makes his way towards the hallway.

“Hannie… is that you?” his voice echoes throughout the house.

As he reaches the living room, he sees Jeonghan by the kitchen grabbing something out of the fridge. He flashes the biggest gummy smile he could offer. Damn, he missed this guy so much.

“Ahhh” he sighs loudly while making his way towards the kitchen counter but Jeonghan seems uninterested. “I’m glad you’re finally back. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’m exhausted. I’m going to rest in my room.” Jeonghan’s voice was flat. It felt cold to him. And all the while Seungcheol thought Jeonghan might have forgiven him by now. Oh he was so wrong.

“Hannie. Can’t I atleast get a hug?” he stands there, rooted to his place while Jeonghan walks past him to take his luggage.

No response.

The wheels of the luggage made loud noises as Jeonghan dragged it towards his bedroom. Seungcheol follows him to his room but Jeonghan halts midway, staring back at him with the coldest eyes ever. He isn’t sure but he could see tears forming along his lower lash line. What exactly did he do to make Jeonghan this upset?

“Han. Please. Let’s make up now. I really miss you.”

“Oh really?” Jeonghan’s keepall drops with a thud. “Is that why you faked being hurt? My mom wanted to see you. And you ditched us because of that?”

“What?” to say he was confused was an understatement. “Faked being hurt? What are you talking about Han?”

Jeonghan just stares back at him - eyes more intense than it was a minute ago. A tear betrays him as it falls down his cheek, but Jeonghan was quick to wipe it off and turn around to continue his way to his room.

“Jeonghan, please.” Seungcheol doesn’t know what he was doing but he grabbed onto Jeonghan’s hand and pulled him into an embrace. He can feel his boyfriend’s body tense, but he didn’t let go and Jeonghan didn’t resist either. “Babe.” he buries his nose into the space between Jeonghan’s neck and shoulder. “Please let’s be okay already. I miss you.”

He feels Jeonghan’s body start to shake. If out of anger, he’s not sure. But he doesn’t have a good feeling. The next words Jeonghan spoke left his body cold.

“Is that what you told her too when you met?”

Of course Joshua told Jeonghan, he doesn’t even know why he thought Joshua would listen to him. And now that Jeonghan knows, he’s sure it’s going to be a bigger mess than it already was. A minute passed and Jeonghan just stares at him, eyes full of hate and hurt. He did this to him, and Seungcheol could not believe he’s capable of hurting Jeonghan this way.

“Babe, it was a coincidence…” he takes a step forward, hands almost pleading.

“SHUT UP SEUNGCHEOL!” the voice was piercing and the next thing he knew, a door slams close at his face.

He doesn’t want to lose him - especially not because of Chae-Eun. He knows how he must have felt before. It must have hurt so bad when Jeonghan found out that he was seeing someone. How could he lead him on just to break his heart? Even though Seungcheol was deeply in love with Jeonghan that time, Seungcheol didn’t know the other felt the same. So he went out of his way to heal his own conflicted heart. But it was a mistake - a terrible judgment. A selfish move. And he will never be able to forgive himself knowing that someone like Jeonghan- perfect in every fucking way - has found an insecurity because of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank my fam (you know who you are) for inspiring me to write again and continue this fic. I have been so demotivated lately so really thank you. I hope this turns out well - enough to give justice to your endless wonderful ideas. Love you!
> 
> I also want to thank readers who appreciate my fics. I hope you keep reading this. I know I added another chapter so expect a bit of light angst on the next. Also, it would be really helpful to see your comments about the story. Hope you stay till the next! Thank you so much!
> 
> -A❤
> 
> PS. I did not proofread this at all and just wanted to post asap caz it has been long overdue so forgive me for any grammatical and typo errors. Thank you


	3. Delicate

The trip back to Japan was uneventful - save for the few fansites who got themselves in trouble with security again. Seungcheol wants to care. Besides, they’re still Carats. But despite the countless reminders given by the agency, they continue to break rule after rule. And it honestly makes everyone uneasy to know that people could sacrifice their own safety to capture photos of them. One more thing are the news agencies, they’re seriously disrupting the operations in the airport. Not like it’s new to Seungcheol - they’re used to it. But doesn’t mean he approves of it.

Soonyoung scowls at him. For what reason? He doesn’t know. He takes a seat in his usual spot, whoever’s it was he doesn’t care. His mood hasn’t been really up there for quite some time now and everyone knows that.

Jihoon takes the seat beside him, and Seungcheol knows why Kwon Soonyoung was being sulky again. “Why are you here?”

His best friend looks at him with a surprised expression, “What? Do you think anyone wants to sit beside you and get in Jeonghan’s bad side?”

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “Right.”

Everyone ignores him now. Not sure if it’s because they all want to be under Jeonghan’s good side or because they believed that he faked an injury to spend time with his ex. Seungcheol is offended. They should know him better than that. But then he can’t blame them - he lost their trust the moment he introduced Chae-Eun two years ago, during Don’t Wanna Cry promotions.

 _“No wonder Jeonghan contributed to the lyrics...”_ he remembers Jihoon’s words. _“When we see each other again… Your line...”_ And now they all think that he’s always going to be capable of hurting Jeonghan - even though that’s the last thing on his mind.

As soon as the plane landed, Seungcheol lets out a sigh of relief. He felt so uneasy and suffocated. He just needed some air. As far as he knows, room arrangements remained the same but of course, Jeonghan would swap with someone.

“Soonyoung’s staying with me.” Jihoon whispers to his ear. “In case you’re wondering. Chan is staying with Wonu, and Jeonghan with Dokyeom.”

Is he even surprised? Everything was arranged without his knowledge and as much as he wants to be offended, he’s too exhausted for that. “So I’ll be alone then?”

Jihoon doesn’t answer him, instead he heads straight to walk beside Soonyoung and the rest. It’s his worst nightmare - he could lose anything but not his family, and that includes these 12 guys. He shakes his head in frustration and prepares a smile, though a forced one, to greet all the fans that are most probably waiting for them to arrive. Walking faster than the rest, he takes the lead and heads over to immigration, not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes. He’s scared to see what those orbs tell of him.

 

*****

 

“Please explain to me again why you think he’s faking it?” Joshua hops on Dokyeom’s bed while the younger goes out with the maknaes for a trip to the nearest convenience store.

“I don’t know!” Jeonghan was now slamming all his clothes on his bed. He was only meant to get his pajamas. “I ~ I honestly don’t think he’s faking it. But I was so upset and ~” Jeonghan stops rummaging through his luggage and sighs a long dreadful breath. “The look in his eyes when I mentioned her… I don’t know what it meant. He froze. It’s like getting caught…”

“Han, I told you he didn’t want you to know because of this - this is exactly what he was trying to prevent.”

“That doesn’t change anything. She’s back and for me it’s a threat. And I do not want to lose so I’m just leaving the game.”

“JEONGHAN!”

“SHUA!” Jeonghan covers his face with his palms. “I’m exhausted, okay?” He doesn’t wanna deal with this right now. He hears his best friend stand up and walk over to him.

“You are better than this. You are not a quitter. What was everything else to you then? A game?” Joshua says through gritted teeth and his words pierced through his skull. But the next ones pierced through his heart. “I trust Seungcheol and I am not even anything like you to him. It’s time for you to get over your insecurity and fight for what’s yours since the beginning.”

And with that he hears the door of his hotel room slam shut. Emotions flood over him and before he knows it, he was kneeling beside his bed, face pressed down the mattress, suppressing his sobs. But it was too much - just too much, so he lets the sheets of the bed get soaked in his incessant tears.

 

*****

 

The tour went on as per scheduled - thankfully no one getting seriously hurt aside from the exhaustion that was already expected from this. Seungcheol had been really distant from everyone lately, save for Jihoon and Joshua’s small gestures of concern. He tries to divert his focus on the good things - the Carats, the lights, the music. It was enough to live for the moment - enough to smile for a while - enough to gather some positivity despite the bleak situation. As the first concert ends, Seungcheol was back in his room - locked up with nothing to do. He orders room service because who would want to go out with him? At this point, he just blames himself for everything.

When Seungcheol thought things couldn't get any worse that it already was, the situation proves him wrong. And he doesn’t even know if he’s got any energy left to deal with it.

 

*****

 

“You know it’s the DVD shoot tomorrow right?”

“So?”

“You’ll be beside each other for the encore and the ment.”

“Yeah. So?”

“You have to interact.”

Jeonghan sighs in annoyance. “You’re beside me too. I can interact with you.”

“That will just make things worse. Carats will notice.” Joshua looks sincerely worried about the situation. “Besides, all Jeonghcheol stans are thirsty for content.”

“Let them thirst.” Jeonghan raises his eyebrows at this, making Joshua shake his head desperately.

“You know you overreacted right?”

“Doesn’t change the fact that Chae-Eun is back.”

“Han, that was a coincidence. They didn’t even meet or talk after that.”

“Can I have this last piece of sushi?”

Joshua was speechless. And exasperated. “I cannot believe you, Yoon Jeonghan.” his best friend says as he steals the last piece of sushi that was already halfway to Jeonghan’s plate. He laughs at this, which only made Joshua even more upset.

Just then, a group of Japanese teenagers entered the small restaurant. Jeonghan sees their surprised faces when they recognized him. And when he made eye contact with them, he smiles at them sweetly before making a tiny bow. “You better shut up now Shua.” he says in a whisper. “Someone might be able to understand us.”

“Just please fix it with him, Han.”

His green tea felt cold between his hands. He had too much food but not enough drinks. Maybe he needed something with a kick. “How about sake?”

Joshua almost chokes on his own green tea. “Ya! Yoon Jeonghan!”

“What?!” Jeonghan looks at him with a surprised expression. Joshua isn’t taking any of his bullshit today and he hates it.

“No alcohol for you. Let’s go back to the hotel.” his best friend immediately stood up, bowed to the people who served their food tonight and heads out straight into the night not even bothering to wait up for him.

The walk back to the hotel was silent. Joshua seems to be in deep thought as he walks a few feet ahead of him, while Jeonghan’s thoughts were a mess. One thing’s for sure though, he terribly missed Seungcheol. But he doesn’t know what pulls him away from reconciling. Chae-Eun is really just a hard pass for him and he’s sure everyone knows it.

As they near the hotel, Joshua abruptly turns that he almost bumped into him. “Why? What are you doing?” comes Jeonghan’s annoyed comment.

“Fuck this bitch..” Joshua mutters, voice laced with anger.

“What?! Who?!” Jeonghan looks at his best friend’s reaction - eyes closed, head shaking, hand massaging his temples. He then looks around to see if he knows who Joshua is referring to. That’s when he saw her - after two years - by the bench outside the hotel lobby, happily sorting through her purchases for the day.

Jeonghan’s world seemed to be spinning at an unexplainable rate and Joshua looks at him with worry. “Han, I’m sure Seungcheol doesn’t know.” he defends. But Joshua’s words were cancelled as he saw Jihoon come out of the hotel lobby to the bench and walk directly towards Chae-Eun.

“Oh really? Are you sure about that?” he points his chin at her direction and Joshua turns around to see Jihoon approaching her.

“Jihoon? But why?” Joshua was confused. Jeonghan was too. But that wasn’t important now.

“Maybe they’re trying to hide it?” Jeonghan chuckles bitterly. “Why do they even want to hide it? It’s not like I don’t know it.” he starts walking to the lobby, planning to totally ignore their presence.

But Joshua catches up with him. “You’re seriously making wrong judgments here. I am sure Seungcheol doesn’t want to see her.” Jeonghan just shrugs at this.  “Han, let’s not assume things. Seungcheol won’t do this.”

Chae-Eun flew all the way from Korea to follow Seungcheol. Whatever it is, he knows that this bitch is here to ruin his life - well she already ruined his relationship with Seungcheol. And he doesn’t know how to fight back, because as of now, he’s too fragile to even do anything anymore.

 

*****

 

“Room service” the lady says after the bell to his room dings. Finally his dinner arrived. Being depressed and starving are two things that should never go together. But Seungcheol is both right now, so he doesn’t waste a second as he hops off his bed to open the hotel room door.

The Japanese lady rolls the cart into his room and lays the trays one by one. His bento, his miso soup, two bottles of beer and a chocolate cake. His stomach rumbles at the sight.

“Ah excuse me.” he talks to the lady in Japanese. “There must have been a mistake. I did not order the cake.” he tries his best to relay his message but he isn’t sure if the lady understands.

“Gift.” the lady says it in English but heavily accented. “There is a note.”

Seungcheol did not quite understand what she meant, but he just nods back at her with thanks as she makes her way out of the door, pushing the trolley back out.

There was indeed a note tucked under the small plate which holds the cake. Curious, he ignores his hunger for a while as he pulls the note to have a look.

 

_Your favorite._

_I hope you enjoy it even if it’s not from The Bakers Table._

_Also, meet me at the lobby in an hour?_

 

_Missing you,_

_채-은_

 

Seungcheol’s face went pale and his body went ice-cold. He has never felt such fear before - fear because 1) Chae-Eun is currently in Japan, 2) the fact that she knows which hotel he stays and, add to that, his fucking room number, and 3) she even wants to meet him. But worse of all, he’s scared of Jeonghan finding out. As much as he wants to fix everything with his boyfriend, fate seems to fuck him up. _‘She’s fucking worse than a sasaeng fan.’_

Food forgotten, he dials the number of the only person who gives a shit about him right now. He was internally panicking but he doesn’t know if Jihoon can even help him. How do you even run away from a person who knows every single thing you do? Most especially when you’re stuck in a country with that person while having a schedule to follow. Seungcheol was in a state of complete mess.

Jihoon was not answering. “FUCK!” he curses out loud. He dials the number again and this time his best friend answers after the fourth ring.

“WHAT THE FUCK CHOI SEUNGCHEOL I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME CAN YOU LIKE NOT CALL - -”

“SHE’S HERE!”

“- - LIKE A LUNATIC. WHAT?!” Jihoon pauses his rant. “Who is here?”

“Chae-Eun. She’s in Japan.” he hears Jihoon gasp on the other line and Seungcheol’s voice starts to shake.

“Wha- Are you sure?” Jihoon sounded worried.

“She just sent a cake to my hotel room, Ji.” he tried to sound calm but the stress is overpowering him.

“NO FUCKING WAY. ARE YOU SURE?! Maybe it’s just the boys messing with you.”

“What?! No! No one would do that!” Seungcheol defended his dongsaengs knowing full well that they are not capable of playing such a distasteful joke, even when they’re all upset with him. “Besides, she mentioned our favorite cafe - where we.. umm.. used to date. I don’t think anyone knows that.”

“Cheol, that’s really creepy. Do you want to let the managers know? We’ll request security!” his best friend was alarmed. But his concern wasn’t Seungcheol’s concern.

“She won’t do anything to me Ji.” Seungcheol sighs. “I am worried about Jeonghan - about him finding out and thinking I am cheating on him, or that I still care about her.”

“Oh fuck. Yeah, I mean that’s kind of the worst…”

“Wow thanks, I feel relieved.” his sarcasm didn’t seem to faze his best friend as Jihoon stays silent at his remark. “She wants to meet me in an hour. Ji, what do I do?”

“I guess you just have to let Jeonghan know…” there was a short pause, and it sounded like Jihoon was contemplating about the possibilities. “...before he finds out from someone else, or worse… he meets her by accident somewhere… then you’re fucked… for good.”

Jihoon doesn’t help at all. And Seungcheol felt dead inside. It was really hopeless for him now. “Help me Ji.” his voice cracked, seriously dreading the what’s going to happen in the next few days.

 

*****

 

Seriously, thank God for best friends.

Jihoon actually agreed to meet Chae-Eun on his behalf. But something doesn’t sit well with Seungcheol. And he is actually contemplating whether meeting Chae-Eun himself would work better than have Jihoon explain to her that he doesn’t want to see her again. He paces around in his hotel room, checking his phone every second just to wait for Jihoon’s message. But none came.

The waiting drove him crazy, so he pulls a jacket from the rack and grabs his room card, heading straight to the elevator down the lobby. The ride down was excruciatingly slow and Seungcheol wants to just get everything over with. His phone beeps and a message pops on his screen.

 **“1 Message from Joshua”** he taps it open and sees a zoomed photo of Chae-Eun and Jihoon talking outside the hotel lobby. He’s doomed.

 **“Fix this.”** was the message that followed. Seungcheol felt shivers down his spine.

The elevator doors slide open and he was suddenly face to face with none other than Yoon Jeonghan. They were frozen on their spot for a while, until Jeonghan looks down and steps aside to allow Seungcheol to alight the elevator. He takes two careful steps, eyes not leaving his boyfriend’s face. But Jeonghan was cold-hearted as he pushes his way inside the elevator, with a pissed Joshua tailing behind.

Jeonghan taps the close button but Seungcheol was quick to press the elevator button. To be honest, he doesn’t know why he did that, but he didn’t want Jeonghan to leave his sight. He’s scared he might lose him to whatever shit that's happening right now.

“Han…” he mutters the words cautiously. “I’m~”

“CHEOL!” someone calls him from behind. He turns around to see the last person he wanted to see right now. Chae-Eun was all smiles as he was running towards him, followed by a very annoyed-looking Jihoon. “Jihoon said you were busy.”

Jeonghan took the opportunity to tap the elevator button and Seungcheol was lost in the moment, unsure of what to do next. Before he knew it, Jihoon hops in the elevator with the two as the doors close, leaving him and Chae-Eun in the hotel lobby.

 

*****

_‘Seriously?’_

“SERIOUSLY?!” Jeonghan thought he was thinking out loud. But it was actually Jihoon and Joshua’s identical reaction as the elevator doors closed on them.

“OH I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT GUY!” Jihoon was furious now, his hands balled in fists.

“HE SERIOUSLY STAYED BEHIND WITH THAT B-... B-... UGH!” Joshua was also livid.

Jeonghan looks at them curiously as they seemed to be more upset about the situation than he is. He expected it - for Seungcheol to choose her again over him. But he can’t deny the fact that he had hoped a little that maybe Seungcheol would actually choose him this time.

The elevator doors open to their hotel floor but no one steps out. All three of them seem to be lost in thought, stuck in that small space, staring at nothing in particular. Jeonghan makes the first move, stepping out of the elevator then turning around to give the other two a smile. “It’s late. I’ll go to my room now. I bet Dokyeom is snoring by now.” he waves at them and walks over to his room.

He doesn’t know whether he should feel the pain, but right now he’s numb. Damn he doesn’t even know if he can cry. _‘History repeats itself huh? That shit is real?’_  he sneers at his thoughts. As he was nearing his and Dokyeom’s room, he could hear Seungkwan yelling and Dino laughing. He taps the keycard and pushes the door open to reveal their room in chaos. Dokyeom and Seungkwan about to throw pillows at each other, Nintendo switch controls on the carpeted floor, and Dino still laughing nonstop. But as soon as they spot him by the door, they all freeze.

“Hyung..” Seungkwan mutters first probably sensing his mood.

Jeonghan waves his hand to dismiss their worries. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Continue with your game. I’m gonna go take a shower.” He can feel their eyes following him to the bathroom, but he totally ignores them. Stripping off his clothes, he turns the knob of the shower. He’s glad that it masks the soft chatters outside, he hopes to be able to have some time alone with his thoughts.

The water kept on making soft splatter sounds against the porcelain tub. As he steps in, warmth enveloped his body, though it was not quite the warmth he was craving for. He missed Seungcheol so much that he wanted to go back down and just grab him then and there - claim him even though he knows that not even one moment, Seungcheol belonged to him. Not long after, warmer drops run down his cheeks. Before he knew it, he was crying - standing, forearms against the cold shower tiles, supporting his forehead. He could not take it anymore, could not keep on pretending to be strong or unaffected. He’s not okay.

Muting the world around him, he let his sobs fill the shower stall and eventually lets his loud cries take over his emotions. At this point, he was wailing, slapping the tile with his other hand, water splashing along with his cries. He didn’t care if the others could hear him. He felt helpless and weak. He felt unloved and unappreciated, and he doesn’t know what else could make him feel better.

Minutes passed and his knees finally give out and for a split second Jeonghan knew that he was gonna get badly hurt, either by hitting his head against the tub or just breaking his back against the hard porcelain - he had no time to react. But then familiar arms caught him and enveloped him in an embrace he never knew would ever come.

 

*****

 

It was the first time that he thought elevators were too slow for their purpose. He kept glancing at the monitor waiting for it to reach their hotel room floor but the agony of waiting was killing him. It’s unusual for Seungkwan to be speechless. The text message was very vague and Seungcheol didn’t hesitate but to leave a stunned Chae-Eun in the hotel lobby after being told to stay away from him and never ever contact him again. Seungcheol didn’t mean to be harsh, but when it’s Jeonghan that’s involved, when it’s Jeonghan that’s at risk, he doesn’t care.

 **_“Hyung, where are you? Jeonghan hyung is in the shower right now and we don’t know what’s happening. Please come right away.”_ **He read the message again and again. Three more floors.

As he reached the floor, he dashed towards the room to find it unlocked and partly open. Dokyeom was alone inside, biting his nails, most probably anxious about Seungcheol’s arrival. “Hyung..” he quickly approached him, but Seungcheol ignored the worried expression on Dokyeom’s face as he himself heard what was causing all these. He quickly took off his shoes and almost stumbled his way towards the bathroom.

“Hannie?” the shower stall was foggy due to the steam from the hot shower. But he could hear him very clearly - Jeonghan was crying. And Seungcheol felt the stab on his chest - it was too painful hearing him cry. Jeonghan always pretended to be strong - he had this persona that he can endure anything, he can conquer anything and Seungcheol was always proud of how he holds up. He never knew that only someone like him could break Jeonghan, and he felt so defeated.

Grabbing a towel nearby, he slowly makes his way towards the stall. “Hannie…” Jeonghan probably didn’t know he was there. He could hear him heaving, his cries were faltering, like he was losing his breath. He quickly slides the door, not giving a fuck how Jeonghan would react later. And thank God he did it, because the moment the door was fully open, Jeonghan collapsed, body limp, almost bumping against the glass door.

“Jeonghan!” his voice was panicked, trying to adjust Jeonghan in a comfortable position in his arms. Now soaking wet, Seungcheol reaches for the knob and turns the shower off. He wraps Jeonghan’s body with a towel, slowly sits the both of them in the tub and holds him tight for a moment. Even with the warm shower, Jeonghan was unconscious but shivering.

It was a nightmare that came true. Jeonghan getting hurt because of him. He feels his own tears running down his cheeks, unable to accept the fact that after everything - after trying so hard to love the only man he wants to be with in his life - he still was able to hurt him like this.

“Han, I am so sorry.” he mutters, sobs stifled. “Please wake up. Please.. the tub is cold. I don’t want you to be sick...” he says despite the fact that he could definitely carry Jeonghan out of the bathroom, but he felt as weak as the other.

Not getting a response, he wills himself to get up. Carrying Jeonghan in his arms, he steps out of the stall with extra care afraid of slipping on the wet marble floor. He lays him on Dokyeom’s bed gently and Jeonghan starts to shiver more, probably because of the air conditioning unit being set at 18 degrees.

Seungcheol didn’t know what to do first so he sighs and grabs the remote control to switch the AC off first. He grabs the comforter and drapes it over Jeonghan, making sure to remove the soaking wet towel he had on. As soon as Jeonghan was tucked in, he took his clothes off and grabbed the robe hanging by the closet door. He could not risk getting sick as well.

He grabs the phone he left by the counter and dials Joshua’s number.

“Cheol, I don’t want to talk...”

“Shua… I’m in Jeonghan’s room.”

Joshua was too stunned to speak. “What… what happened?”

“Can you please come and bring me my clothes? I need your help too.”

Joshua hangs up, not even giving Seungcheol a response. Worrying too much, he grabs the other robe and tries his best to put it on Jeonghan. He was still shivering and Seungcheol just wanted to slap himself endless for doing this to him. He grabs a towel to dry Jeonghan’s hair and replaces the pillow underneath him. He feels like he’s gonna go crazy out of worry.

Not long after, Joshua bursts through the door and throws his clothes on his face. “What happened?!” Joshua demanded, his palms touching Jeonghan’s forehead.

“Seungkwan messaged me and I found him shivering in the shower so I… I’m sorry Shua.”

“You’re lucky he doesn’t have a fever or else I’ll punch you in the face.” Joshua glares at him. “But he has to wake up to take meds and drink something warm. He’s shivering.”

Seungcheol quickly dressed up and stated hanging all the wet towels and robe. “Shua, let’s bring him to my room.”

“What?! Why?!”

“That bed is soaked, and Dokyeom needs to sleep on the other. I will take care of him.”

“And I should believe you because?!”

“BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO! DAMN IT!” Seungcheol was now furious. Yes he fucked up, but he knows how he feels and he knows what he’s willing to do for Jeonghan. So can people just trust him for once? “I will look after him. And we still need to talk.”

He knows Joshua won’t allow it - not after everything that happened today and the past few days. “Shua... Please…” his voice was basically pleading, but Joshua just glares at him.

“I told you to fix it. Yet you chose her over him…” Joshua stood up to face him. “And you did it infront of his face Cheol!”

“I did not choose her! Not in any lifetime would I choose anyone over Jeonghan!” It was too much for him to handle. People need to trust him more. “I just wanted to be over with it! I just wanted to tell her not to fucking bother me again! I can’t…” his voice falters. “I really really can’t let anything come between me and Jeonghan again.”

“Then stop fucking up!”

“You think I want to fuck up Shua?!” His hands balled into fists and he doesn’t know how to control his emotions anymore. “You think I asked her to show up again?! You were there! You know what happened!”

Jeonghan groans and both of them drop their glares to look at Jeonghan, but the latter just falls back to unconsciousness.

“He’s still cold. Help me bring him to my room. And I am not asking for permission, I am asking for help.”

 

*****

 

The last thing he remembers before blacking out was having two arms catch him before he could hit his head on the porcelain tub.

Waking up, he feels the same arms around him, but it's no longer cold. He's no longer shivering. At first he thought everything was a dream - just a long pointless dream. But the pain still present indicated that it wasn't. He could hope though.

Seungcheol's soft snores against his nape invades his senses. The lights were dimmed and Jeonghan realized he was wearing his pajamas with a sweater over it. _'No wonder it's warm…’_ he thought. He was good at lying, but never to himself. He knew it was this warmth that he has been longing for weeks now - Seungcheol's arms, his scent, his breath - just everything about Seungcheol.

For a moment he debated whether to roll out of bed, out of his hold and leave. Or bask in the moment and let himself drown with the warmth that he longed. But how could he even when just a slight movement from Jeonghan prompted Seungcheol to tighten his hold around his waist.

 _'It's not bad to be selfish for a while…’_ he thought. ‘ _He chose Chae-Eun but he's here with me… What does this even mean?’_

He remembered the moment the elevator doors closed, Seungcheol's eyes looking at his - guilt and apologies apparent. Jeonghan's chest stings again and he suddenly felt suffocated. His heavy breathing was waking Seungcheol up, though he wanted to relax himself again but he can't.

“Hannie?” Seungcheol’s raspy voice froze him. “Are you up?” he feels arms being withdrawn from his waist and he panicked. Jeonghan didn’t know what was up with him when quickly grabbed both wrists and let Seungcheol wrap his arms around him again.

He sighs - whether of relief or disappointment at himself he doesn’t know.

 

*****

 

As he feels the tugging of his arms, Seungcheol smiles. He feels the soft fabric of Jeonghan’s pajamas on his palms, the small exposed portion of his tummy warm against his touch. He snuggles close and buries his nose in Jeonghan’s hair - a habit of his for many years now. His smell was intoxicating and Seungcheol couldn’t help but kiss his nape.

“I missed you…” he whispers as his lips place gentle kisses repeatedly on the same spot. Jeonghan relaxes in his hold and he sighs in relief. “I’m sorry babe..”

Tears threatened to fall but he tried to stop it. He sure is weak for him but he doesn’t want to spoil this chance. He didn’t know if Jeonghan wanted to talk, but he wants to make sure he’s ready if given the opportunity. The other turns around to face him, his arms still wrapped around the slender waist. Jeonghan’s expression was unreadable, he doesn’t know if it’s sadness, worry or anger, but his brows were crossed.

He reaches over to fix the other’s hair which was already half-covering his eyes, but Jeonghan was quick to snatch his wrist and wrap it back around his waist. A smile forms on Seungcheol’s lips which, to his surprise, was quickly snatched by Jeonghan’s lips.

The kiss started soft, delicate even, but the urgency was there. And Seungcheol knows that Jeonghan missed him too. No words could ever describe longing more than the way Jeonghan’s eyes softly close every time their lips touch, or how Jeonghan’s hips would buckle every time he pulls him close, or how the other’s palms find his arms, caressing them with gentleness, or how breathless they were after kissing for more than what feels like eternity. If it wasn’t for that moment, Seungcheol thought he already lost him forever.

Jeonghan buries his head in his neck both palms open against his chest. “I love you… Please know that…” he whispers against his hair.

“Cheol…” Jeonghan’s voice was shaky and he hated that he must have been feeling so weak. “I understand if you’re choosing her over me...”

“Babe, I would never.” he quickly replies. “And if you ask me who I would choose, even for a million times, I would always choose you.”

He feels Jeonghan’s breath against his neck get warmer. “Han…” he places a quick kiss on his forehead. “I promise… There’s no one else… I promise… There will be no one else...”

Silence enfolds as they both live in that moment, only with each other, nothing and no one else in between them. “Trust me again… will you?”

It was the most excruciating ten seconds of his life. But as he feels Jeonghan nod as a response, Seungcheol lets go of all his worries. The only thing that truly matters to him right now is Jeonghan - his trust and his love.

 

*****

 

“One more time Cheol and I will smack you with my chopsticks!” Jeonghan was annoyed. What does he even want right now? No one disturbs him when it comes to sushi.

“Just one, Hannie.” Seungcheol pouts, too adorable for his own good. If only they weren’t in public, he would kiss that pout away.

“One what?!” he pretends to still be annoyed.

“Selca!” Seungcheol is now doing aegyo and Jeonghan pretends to want to vomit. But seriously, how can someone resist?

“What selca?!”

“Hyung, my gosh, stop doing that.” Seungkwan joins in the banter.

“Why why why??!!”

“We’re in front of food. Please I am losing my appetite.” Seungkwan rolls his eyes at Seungcheol, making the latter playfully throw table napkins at him.

Jeonghan could not help but laugh at the horrified expression on Seungkwan’s face. “Stop that Cheol! You’re scaring him again!”

“Then let’s have one selca!” he pouts again, this time while stomping his feet.

_‘Such a baby!’_

“Fine! Just one!” Jeonghan approaches Seungcheol and leans in to his space. He calms himself after having a good laugh and tries to look as casual as possible in the photo.

*click*

“Okay done. Now let me enjoy my sushi.” he says as he quickly places one in his mouth, munching on his favorite.

“Aish! Another one please? I look weird.” Seungcheol whines like a child. Jeonghan only glares at him, but he was caught off guard by a series of snaps Seungcheol was taking of them while he’s still munching on his sushi.

 

“Seuunnnggggcheeooool!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

One table away, Joshua shakes his head while looking at the scene.

 

“Here we go again.”

 

 

### ❤❤❤❤❤

 

 

 

### ❤❤❤❤❤

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry it took me so long to finish this. But I hope you still enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reading this! I would love to read your comments! I love you all!
> 
> -A❤
> 
> PS. As with all of my fics, I did not proofread this as I post everything as soon as I finish writing them. So forgive me if there any grammatical or spelling errors. Thank you always!


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